post-holiday shopping

Post-Holiday Shopping: Day 1

For some reason, some insane reason I thought it would be a reasonable idea to go to the Orlando outlets the day after Christmas.

Yes, yes I know. I'm insane. Five hours. Gridlock traffic. FUCK ME.

Ashley, yes it was my idea... but you concurred. :P

Two and a half hours into said traffic, we make it to Millennia Mall, but not the Prime Outlets because some brilliant highway planner didn't make an interstate exit at the outlets. Can anyone say fail?

But the day was not without its high points. Who got J. Crew cords for 13 bucks (that were originally $80)? That is correct. I did. WIN. And of course the company was lovely. Most people I would have punched in the face after that much time in a confined space with, but me an Ashley just discussed how all the assholes driving around cutting us off and being generally charming human beings should get a venereal disease or two of the face....

:)

Classy ladies are we not?

Post-Holiday Shopping: Day 2

Yesterday, oh yesterday. The day of hot hot boots.

Since my departure for the District of Columbia is imminent, I needed boots. Thus, Pam and I went to the mall...

Not as crowded as day 1, but still pretty painful.

*Pam just walked in and as I tilt the computer away, because quite frankly she is nosy and it is irritating, she says, "oh my you must be doing the porn again, bye then." fml*

I shall resume my mall anecdote.

DSW shoes= <3

I buy some calf-length brown leather boots with a 3-inch heel. :)

I also bought what they are calling, booties? Black. 3-inch heel.

I'm going to hurt myself.

Next we enter the mall, and I tell Pam I need to get a USB charger adapter for my Ipod. I go into the Apple store and make my purchase. Fucking overpriced... ugh.

I leave the store, Pam has effing disappeared. Woman needs a cow bell.

So I wander around looking for this petite plump woman... and I find her, in the Coach store?

Confusion.

And it occurred to me.

I need a crazy-postmenopausal- cat lady- mother leash. Most likely similar to the harness type apparatuses they make for offspring. I looked at pictures online. There are ones that you can just hold the handle. Or shit, you can even attach them to your belt! umm yessss...

I shall make parent sized ones. I'll make a fortune. Off to sew my Pam leash.